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Hi I'm Peiyi and I'm 17. Currently in Nan Chiau High. You can find me at th following links.

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Caught : BW41 picnic.

Life is NEVER enough ; you should be who are are rather than who you are not. And if you think you're doing th right thing, go on doing it. You live not to please people. 

Of course, i feel like i've cheated too. 

Because, during April, i get to know ------ too. ( Well, this time, it's time to sound. )

He was with me all th while when i was going thru up and down, enduring all th shit i've given him. I was a bad, naughty girl back then who doesn't know how to think ;/ i guess i'm still bad, but i've got better okay..

So, he was my best friend, which i used to title him, then, gradually, i like him, even tho i'm still with Zhijian, and i'm stepping on two boats. When i realised that i like ------, initially, i brush it off, and i thought, he was my best guy friend, so i like him. But it wasn't true. It was more than that, because he was th one who gave me th shoulder to lend on, giving me support in whatever things i'm doing. He gave me advices, playing Audition with me when i requested to to kill my boredom, and chatting random stuffs. We got together on May 8, where he finally 'confessed' to me, after sending a message where you have to tell th person who they want you to be in th next life. He replied, sister. So when he got online, i immediately asked him if that was his real and final answer, he say nope. So yea.. i teased him abit when he ask for a relationship with me. Since i was really heartbroken, and there's a hero trying to piece my heart back together, i accepted him. Which, i'm also afraid that i'll lost him if i don't accept fast. However i haven't got over zhijian, so, once, i wrote, promises are meant to be done blahblah. He saw, he asked me. He knew about this , as i told him that i've promised Zhijian to study hard. So, we gave each other time to cool off and think. Damn me, i took a long time. I swore to myself that i must get over Zhijian to than able to have th rights to be back with ------. And i used months. Shit. I planned to get back with him using th most sweetest method, as he once mentioned that he isn't th guy who's good with sweet words, or stuffs mushy stuffs. I wasn't good with words too. So, i wrote a 'love letter' and asked someone to pass it to him.

I was blushing so damn hard when my messenger told him it's me when i told her not to mention my name. 

However, when i got home, i msn-d him. We chatted, and sort of hinted th love letter to him. He told me something. Kind of a rejection or something. I was sad. 

This year in January, i saw him putting his relationship status to 'In a relationship' with .... 

My heart totally sank, and soon as i saw th news, my eyes are filled with tears, th pressure of my heart just like how Zhijian broke up with me, but it hurt more bad this time. My vision totally blurred, and i can't cried, cause there's my family at home in th room. It really sucks to always hold in th tears man ;( . So i wipe my eyes with th sleeve of my shirt, absorbing and clearing away my tears, allowing myself to look again, and immediately, my head hurts as much as my heart. Elvin told me, it's th effect of your broken heart that your emotion are affecting you. 

Damn it , it's so true. For th next few month of this year, i spent my time, trying to keep my feeling and tears in, trying not to be jealous or anything shit. But.. i just don't get it. Why ? Why did he promised me in th first place that he will wait for me. And what's th worse is that he thought i was treating him like a substitution. No, it wasn't. If it is, then why that letter? Why th feeling for him still exist even til now ? Th funniest thing is, we have not broke up. Sort of. And he went for another girl. But i'm happy for him. She's prettier and cleverer than me. They're so sweet now as a couple.

He's my crush. Till now. I can't say i love him. It's just so LOL. But , i like him alot alot.

Sigh, talking about these two guys, they left th most impact on me. 

And they're those one of those guy kind of guy who is hard to find, and also , hard for my heart to notice and beat for them.

People tell me i should give up on ------, i think i should. But something is pushing me to confess once again to him. 

Talking about th times with Zhijian make my heart stirred abit. But he has a life now. :))

Something tell me no guys out there is able to rock my heart.

------ is th one who mend my heart and broke it indirectly.

I'm still young. There's many chance to be able to meet guys.

However guys nowadays are jerks, they act so big. They're think they're so great. They're not appealing at all. They seems like little boys, followers, immature. They're not...manly like th two guy whom i've mentioned above.

Sigh..

Perhaps..Pangs of th unrequited love..