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Hall Of Fame,
Caught : B6 CEG reunion
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Hello, my name is Peiyi, 16. I attend classes at Nan Chiau High School and i'm in class 4H'11. I am a left-hander ,
but function more like a right hander. Please DON'T judge me by my look, my *height*, (esp) my voice.
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Caught : B6 CEG reunion Credits I personally edited most of this skin. © All Rights Reserved  Silent Letter, SilentLetters. Day 13 - Someone i wish could forgive me. Day 14 - Someone i’ve drifted away from. Day 15 - The person i miss the most. Day 16 - Someone that’s not in my state/country. Day 17 - Someone from my childhood. Day 18 - The person that i wish i could be. Day 19 - Someone that pesters my mind—good or bad. Day 20 - The one that broke my heart the hardest. Day 21 - Someone i judged by their first impression. Day 22 - Someone i want to give a second chance to. Day 23 - The last person i kissed. Day 24 - The person that gave me my favorite memory. Day 25 - The person i know that is going through the worst of times. Day 26 - The last person i made a pinky promise to. Day 27 - The friendliest person i knew for only one day. Day 28 - Someone that changed my life. Day 29 - The person that i want tell everything to, but too afraid to. Day 30 - My reflection in the mirror. « Up Affiliates, NCHS GuanYue Pei Xuan Audrey Bing Rong Chen Ming Chloe Cecilia Diana Denise Eloys Felyond Gerald Tan SWINIE Hannah Huiling Jade Whiteman JueHua Jade Gan Jasmine Jasmine.W Jean Jia Yu Jia Hui Khairin Krichelle Li Lin MC / Cryiez Patrick Pei Chuen Rebecca Rey Lyn Ruby Sing Ye Vernice Yi Jun Yi Xuan Jansen |
New YearMonday, January 2, 2012 @ 12:26 AMIn this new year, i do not really want to name out my new year resolutions, not even want to try to think of it. Because i know i will always procrastinate on it. And end up not fulfilling it.I hate it when my friends always come to talk to me, only because they have a agenda, motives. They even rarely talk, hardly even reply even what saw or know, only when they want to get th most out of my mouth then they approach me. It's perhaps just me or something Writing down all my thoughts in this space because i know hardly anyone bother to come to read it. I am not emoing. I was just pondering about things in life. Don't pretend you know it all. It only makes a joke out of yourself if you say you know me when i hardly even tell you 2% of me. Spending th first and second day alone. Everyone's working. Friends ... I realised i've become a hesitation. A hesitation to most friends out there. When they only come to find you, you readily accept with all your heart, straight away. But when you find them, they don't give an answer, they just 'er' 'hmmm'. Why can't you just make up your mind. I'm glad i'm th person who thinks alot because it make me know life. I do not have a friend whom i can go to anytime, anywhere, any moment, anything. But i have a God. Who never forsake. To know this fact, it is a bliss. I lost th thing for ranting. Maybe it is just because i haven't rant post for a long time already. Additional to that i am lazy. Furthermore i feel like contradict myself. Thus, i feel i'm better in posting out my thoughts. My blog is like my best friend. I can never get all secretly about anything. Only when i choose to post what i want to reveal to th world out there. Conclusion : you can never know me. Concluded : You will never know me. A new year, a new chance. Thanks God for a new year like this. 1 year ago i was a wretch. i was wreck. 1 year later i am serving happily in th house of God, being a daughter in His house, loving people. How glad. 1 more year to reap and sow harvest in NC. 1 more year. 1 more year to rise in my academic. 1 more year of love. 1 more year of life. 1 more year of blessings. By th mercy of God, i have 1 more year. Not only that, i have many years down th road. 2012 will never happen when we're on th acceleration mode with God. With God. My God never fails. I still remember th times when i cry myself to sleep every night. I was screaming out silently. Torture. Suffered 2 whole year of migraine. It was there every hour, even when i sleep. But there will be always a warmth with me, so amazingly. Cutting my wrist almost everyday, but there's this voice, there's this heart that's hurt by my actions. Ever since i accept Christ into my life, th first night i put my Bible along my pillow as i closes th book and hit th sack, from that night onwards i stop having migraines. There was a total peace. A peace in my mind, in my heart. When i was around 4 years old, i was lying on my tummy next along with my aunt, who was th only Christian in her generation, our entire family, she was listening to a song call 'Amazing Grace'. That was my first exposure to Christian songs. I was only so young. There was a warmth around us, and i can feel it. I thought it was because it's a normal afternoon, but i was wrong. Even th whole room was so peaceful. Amazing Grace, How Sweet That Sound Indeed, it was so sweet. It IS still sweet. Th voice singing out for th Lord is just so sweet. There was tears in my eyes. After that day, i asked my aunt to show me th lyrics. I was so young. I didn't understand much. But i fell in love with God. How can i remember things so well when i was so young ? I don't know. I just remember. I can even remember a scene when i was only 2 years old, clearly. I read th book of Genesis only, because th other books was too difficult and hard for me to digest. At 5 years old, for some reasons, my mom was mad at me, she caned me, and i ran into th room, stood on some table and i wanted to jump from th 5 floor. Because of th situations at home, (i was still living in hougang with my grands then), i was so stressed out, th thought of suicide follow in. In p3,4, with th additional pressures from school, i was always angry. I was always full of angry thoughts, suicidal thoughts. I barely read th bible anymore. And i was still at Genesis. Over and over again. Once, i thought i could end my life by swallowing shampoo foams. I tried it, it was so bitter. So i gave up that method. I used to took my long chair and stood by th window from th 9 floor, looking down. But i was afraid of dying too. Due to my buddhist background, people who lie, will get hook by a long hook at their tongues and be tortured in a certain level in hell. I was so afraid. I lied frequently. By nature. Also, people who commit suicide will be wandering souls forever aka hungry ghost. In sec 1, i stopped reading th bible altogether. Because of th fact that my another aunt took th bible away, and i do not have a bible of my own. I slashed my wrist with th sharp corner of my house keys. I started all th pathetic things. I go into a relationship during th first week in school of th first year, started slashing my wrist with penknife. Th more i feel pain th more my heart is less painful ; for a moment. I was like a saddist. I got addicted to slashing my wrist, -- my wrist, th place where you wear your watches, not any other part of th arms, but thanks goodness there was no scars. I wallop in self pity. always. But God was still with me. There He was, looking at me with His gentle face. Collecting my tears in a jars and in different category. I am a Child of God. In sec 3 i had th most heartwrenching f/s problem with my clique. I fell. But there was this hand that holds me up. And now, it wasn't God found me, but He had been waiting for my all these years. I finally took notice of Him again. And now, i love Him with all my heart. I am not a little girl anymore. I know how to think right now. And i'm so glad, i accept Junkiat's invitation to church last december Christmas. It wasn't fully Jk's that i am a Christian now, but because of God, and because Jk is willing. My future has been drawn out. I was place in Heart Of God church for a purpose, a destiny. My first church, my only one. Th first 2000. Running with th dream team in th second decade, th 'second generation'. Okay 1 gen is 20 years, but whatever. I'm so glad He's in my life. He's always been. ;') For now i am not alone. For now i know i'm love. This is my God. He never fails. He never leaves me. Once a daughter, always be. backtotop |